January 30, 2011

"Oh, you didn't meet me!"


I awoke this morning with an email from my husband Andy. He was directed to write about the first time he met my mother. I was stunned when I read what he wrote -- thank you my dear, loving husband. I share this with all of you~

"It was still a cool New England spring day. I had never met my future wife's Mother. I had heard stories of the "Dragon Lady". I had heard how she could take a loaf of Pepperidge Farm bread and a tin of ham salad and feed the multitudes. I knew of her wonderful artistic talents. I knew of her spiritual explorations.

I knew of the cultural, educational, artistic, and spiritual exposure she had given Jen at early ages. I worshiped the woman she had birthed and raised.

I knew the great kidnapping story and the changes her disease had made in her. I heard Jen's telling of the wonderful, magical weekend of forgiveness and healing she had with her mother the prior winter when she stayed for a long weekend so her father could be away.

BUT...I had never met the MRS.

It was of course a bit ackward. I was new to the whole family even though I had known Jen for years. I met her in the activity room of the Alzheimer's unit where she had recently moved. She looked at me with penetrating eyes as we were introduced. We had a rather quiet meal in the cafeteria and walked a bit outside, although there was still a chill in the air.

Jen and I walked around the halls of the facility as her father took her Mom back upstairs.

We went up to say goodbye.

I said, "It was nice to meet you", as my parting remark and shook her hand. She held tight to my hand, looked straight through me, and said

"Oh, you didn't meet me!!!!"

Two thoughts... how frightening to be trapped inside with Alzheimer's in control and yet to be aware.

And...how many people do we come in contact with who really get to meet us?"