Mind, Body, Spirit Connections

Monday, January 31, 2011

January 31, 2011

We are thirsty~

This glorious weekend spent with six loving woman was the perfect way to end the month of January. The warmth of the weekend is holding me steadfast as I stroke my mother's face, and hold her hand. It's been a long day, but I want to write about a common thread we shared this weekend -- our thirst for nourishment. Spiritual nourishment, companionship, the healing energy of the earth,good food and laughter, cleansing tears, silence, and the deep sense of gratitude felt when we are listened to without judgment, fully and completely, and understood.

We are thirsty~

It is not often that we can escape our busy lives and spend a weekend quenching our thirst and being nourished. So how do we find nourishment in the midst of daily life?
Too often, we sense that ache and we fill it mindlessly, easily slipping into familiar habits that no longer nourish us -- TV, junk food, cigarettes, alcohol, computer games, gossip or other distractions that draw us away from ourselves. But, what if we were to take a deep breath when we become aware of this ache and ask,

"What is it that I really need in this moment?"

What bubbles up -- listen carefully. A cup of tea? A walk outside? A hot bath? Maybe you hear an old friend's name, and a gentle urge to call and re-connect. Or, you are drawn to a favorite book, collection of poems, or a piece of music. Maybe it's to just stop what you are doing and give your husband, wife, partner, child, grandchild, dog or cat a hug and feel that physical contact. Maybe it's taking a nap, or time to meditate, pray or reflect.

Whatever it is, follow your inner wisdom and allow your spirit to be nourished and filled. We live in a world where we are often giving to the point of depletion, always 'doing' and we forget how important it is to take time to "fill our well".

And by all means, if the well is filled, pop yourself a big bowl of popcorn (with butter, of course) and indulge in a movie!

Sunday, January 30, 2011

January 30, 2011

"Oh, you didn't meet me!"

I awoke this morning with an email from my husband Andy. He was directed to write about the first time he met my mother. I was stunned when I read what he wrote -- thank you my dear, loving husband. I share this with all of you~

"It was still a cool New England spring day. I had never met my future wife's Mother. I had heard stories of the "Dragon Lady". I had heard how she could take a loaf of Pepperidge Farm bread and a tin of ham salad and feed the multitudes. I knew of her wonderful artistic talents. I knew of her spiritual explorations.

I knew of the cultural, educational, artistic, and spiritual exposure she had given Jen at early ages. I worshiped the woman she had birthed and raised.

I knew the great kidnapping story and the changes her disease had made in her. I heard Jen's telling of the wonderful, magical weekend of forgiveness and healing she had with her mother the prior winter when she stayed for a long weekend so her father could be away.

BUT...I had never met the MRS.

It was of course a bit ackward. I was new to the whole family even though I had known Jen for years. I met her in the activity room of the Alzheimer's unit where she had recently moved. She looked at me with penetrating eyes as we were introduced. We had a rather quiet meal in the cafeteria and walked a bit outside, although there was still a chill in the air.

Jen and I walked around the halls of the facility as her father took her Mom back upstairs.

We went up to say goodbye.

I said, "It was nice to meet you", as my parting remark and shook her hand. She held tight to my hand, looked straight through me, and said

"Oh, you didn't meet me!!!!"

Two thoughts... how frightening to be trapped inside with Alzheimer's in control and yet to be aware.

And...how many people do we come in contact with who really get to meet us?"

Saturday, January 29, 2011

January 29, 2011

It's raining and the track is slippery~

A few hours after I posted yesterday's blog, my mother fell. She fractured her hip requiring surgery to replace the ball and stem. Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning.

I do not need to go into the details or complexities that face us.

My dad is sitting by her side as I write - filled with heartache knowing how badly she is suffering as he broke his hip years ago.

I am in the desert thankfully surrounded by strong, loving woman who can hold and support me as we wait for the outcome of my mother's surgery. We will hold her and my family surrendering to what is in my mom's "highest and best".

Friday, January 28, 2011

January 28, 2011

The Art of Racing in the Rain~

I have just finished reading The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein. I had given the book to my father for Christmas. I asked him the other night if he had finished the book. “Oh no”, he exclaimed, “ I am parceling it out. I don’t want it to end!” No further incentive was needed, I headed for the library the next day and checked the book out.

Unlike my father, I devoured the book in two hours on my flight to Phoenix. For those who have not read the book, it is a story written entirely from a dog’s perspective. If you have ever loved and lost a dog, it is a must read. If you have never had a dog, it is a must read!

A heart-wrenching story of love, loyalty, hope, and what it takes to be a true champion -- to stay the course even in the rain.

I closed my eyes allowing the story to melt into my bones and thought about my father and his champion race. How he waited thirty years for the love of his life to fall back in love with him. It took Alzheimer’s slow and agonizing progression to wind itself around the parts of my mother’s brain that held fast to her anger, unhappiness and the stories that no longer served her. Cell by cell this relentless disease dissolved those memories and left in its wake a heart, tender and open, to loving in ways she had long forgotten.

Dad welcomed her newly found love for him without anger, bitterness, or grief over time lost. He gratefully and happily accepted mom’s love and the opportunity to care for her. I watched them from a distance, much like “Enzo” the dog in the book, feeling privileged to witness their bittersweet race. They had three precious years before he had to move her into assisted living; where it is now raining in their final laps. I am cheering them both on for the love rekindled between them, for the compassion, and tenderness my father shows my mother each time he visits her, and for my mother’s grace and courage as she struggles to communicate in a world that no longer makes sense.

I pause in my reflection and ask, “How well am I racing in the rain?”

Thursday, January 27, 2011

January 27, 2011

Sharing joy~

In less than an hour, I head for the airport to fly into Phoenix. From there, I will take a shuttle into Tuscon. Five woman from all over the county are flying in to spend a weekend together at a beautiful ranch in the desert outside of Tuscon. We met last summer at the Omega Institute (New York); strangers brought together by a generous friend that we all share in common.

We are thrilled to be together again. It will be a weekend of sisterhood and deepening connections. A time to spend hiking in the raw, majestic desert, learning and sharing from each other, and deeply connecting to mother earth.

For me, it will also be a time of reflection, especially on the abundant blessings of January 2011. I had no idea when I started this blog, that anyone would read it. I get notes almost daily from friends who are reading, and stories of how they are passing the blog on and gifting journals to others. I went onto Google Analytics the other day (yes, only a fluke that I know of this amazing tool and how to use it!) and was startled to see where the Intent Heals website and blog were being opened -- Netherlands, Slovenia, Denmark, India, Russia, Canada, Germany, Ukraine, Japan and Hong Kong.

Tears of joy. The vision of Intent Heals is to promote awareness of global interdependency and our interconnectedness to one another. It's happening!

One person at a time, one country at a time, one prayer at a time.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

January 26, 2011


My day started with the warm, raucous laughter of five woman friends crammed into a car headed for early morning yoga class. We carpool for all of the obvious reasons. The real reason, however, became delightfully clear to me as I laughed at the bantering back and forth.

I was filled with such warmth and gratitude to be amongst these women; to share in their lives, to hear their stories, to be part of the good natured kidding. I am the "new" kid on the block and I realized this morning how fortunate I was to have found "community". We share bits of our lives in the 20 mile journey between our homes and the yoga class -- deaths, births, cancers, fears, latest movies, favorite recipes and books.

And, we laugh! Of course this energy spills over into the yoga class, as laughter is contagious and soon there are 16 woman, ages 50-80, laughing. It is a joyous sound and energy to be immersed in.

Find someone to laugh with today. Or, laugh at yourself! It feels good~

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

January 25, 2011

Strand of Pearls~

Love was the Word bubbling up in meditation this morning.

I reflected on what love is "not". Love is not my expectations of another, love is not my projections on another, love is not something I can contain.
My experience of love has been all of the above which has resulted in unnecessary pain. I know when I have not been loving; when I have projected, expected, and somehow thought I could capture love and keep it safely contained. (I think this goes back to some carefully held, albeit deluded, notion that I have control)!

After acknowledging what love is not, I opened to the daily moments of joy, the unexpected swell of love experienced, when the heart opens and unfolds in deep connection and remembrance. Like an exquiste strand of pearls, our days are filled with these moments of awareness when we, without any effort on our part, experience these jewels of love, joy, grace and our divinity.

Often, the moment takes us by surprise and we are delighted.

My pearls so far this morning -- my husband's hand in mine as I awoke, catching a glimpse of my favorite male cardinal landing on his branch, the first smell and taste of coffee, my daughter rolling her eyes at me with a smile that says 'I love you so much, even if you are bugging me right now', the deliciousness of the hot water spraying against my skin in the shower, the email from my sister --

Tonight, I will hold my strand of pearls and lovingly revisit each one with gratitude and then let them go.

What will be your pearls today?

Monday, January 24, 2011

January 24, 2011

Finding a moment~

Today has been one of those days where it seems like each minute is spilling into the next with places to be, people to be with, and things to do. This is the first moment I have had to sit, be still, and write.

Unfortunately, this minute is spilling into the next thought that I need to be on the road in the next half hour. One of my initial fears when being directed to write this blog daily was the issue of time. What about those days when there was no time? This is one of them.

I've decided to let it go. How freeing is that? Instead of being stressed out, anxious, and making myself crazy...I am going to let this go. Today is a day of doing -being with people, healing sessions, and other daily tasks that are demanding my time.

I celebrate the beautiful souls I am 'being with' and 'the doing' that has claimed my attention, time and energy.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

January 22, 2011

The Witness~

How often do we beat ourselves up? Are we even aware of the incessant messages we send to ourselves that are not loving and kind? How do we catch ourselves and extract from the internal dialogue that cripples us. First, we must be aware that we are engaged in this defeating internal dialogue. I call this being the "witness".

Yesterday, I witnessed how effortlessly and artfully my mind dragged me into the boxing ring of "my old story". It went something like this: "You hurt him with your words. Feel that dis-connect? He loves you less". The trigger igniting the original wounding was "love is not unconditional" -- if you are not perfect, performing, happy, making others happy, doing good, etc. you will not be loved.

For how many of us is this true?

I know I have spent half my life unlearning these destructive messages. Nevertheless, the emotional scars can still be triggered. This is when it is helpful to be able to pull out of yourself (your mind) and become the witness. You can watch the story unfold and at the very least, be able to say "Ahh, I know what is happening here. I am sliding down the rabbit hole. I can stop this whenever I choose". Just being able to witness allows you the opportunity to see and feel that this is not real -- it's just your story.

Last night in bed, I whispered to my husband that I was going to fill the rabbit hole with dirt. He wisely suggested that I use concrete!!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

January 22, 2011

A gift~

A beautiful, grace-filled friend gifted me by sharing the book, The Infinite Way, by Joel Goldsmith.

"The wave is one with the ocean, indivisible and inseperable from the whole ocean. All that the ocean is, the wave is: and all the power, all the energy, all the strength, all the life, and all the substance of the ocean are expressed by every wave. As a wave is one with the ocean, so you are one with God. Your oneness with the universal Life constitutes your oneness with every individual expression of that Life; your oneness with the divine Consciousness constitutes your oneness with every idea of Consciousness. As the infinity of God surges through you to bless all with whom you come in contact, remember that the infinity of God is also surging through every other individual on earth to you." (Goldsmith, pg. 98,99)

How beautifully stated. I feel my expansiveness as I try to embrace and allow this knowing to unfold.

And, yes, the duality of the world knocks on my door begging to be heard and heeded every day. It is only when I turn inward and listen to the "small, still voice" of my soul, of divine Love and Grace, of God-consciousness that I am gently reminded of what is truly real.

Each day I awaken, each person that crosses my path, every thought and experience I have is an opportunity to see beyond this appearance of duality and dive into the ocean of oneness.

Friday, January 21, 2011

January 21, 2011


The word passion bubbled up as I touched in this morning. What does it mean to be passionate? Interestingly, the definition of passion suggests imbalance -- 'a strong feeling of emotion, intense desire and a suffering or enduring of imposed or inflicted pain.'

When I think of the greatest artists throughout time -- they were consumed by their passionate desire to create. Many met with untimely and tragic deaths. Many were unbalanced. And yet, there is something intriguing and attractive about this depth of passion and suffering. I am drawn to people who are passionate and living their true authentic life, even if there is inherent suffering. I admire genius in all its myraid forms.

We have many beautiful examples of people living passionately and sharing their genius. I believe passion and balance can co-exist. I've spent the last twenty-five years finding my own balance while seeking to live authentically and passionately. It has not been easy, and requires much excavation, examination and letting go of the "stories" that keep us from finding our true, pure nature.

Within each of us is a wellspring of creative energy waiting to be tapped into and expressed in our own unique way. What is your genius? What do you feel passionate about in this moment?

Thursday, January 20, 2011

January 20, 2011

Golf~ A Spiritual Path?

I apologize in advance for anyone who is reading this blog who is not a golfer. I just returned from a ladies tournament at Bay Hill (Arnie Palmer's course). I did not play well. To be precise, I played terribly! The game of golf was once a joyful event for me -- played for fun and an opportunity to be in the fresh air on beautiful land. In other words, I did not take the game too seriously. That is until I was "bitten". Once bitten, golf all of a sudden turned into a game of "great expectations" (most of them entirely unrealistic given that my first name is not Annika)!

Joseph Parent, the author of Zen Golf applys the wisdom of Buddhist teachings to the game of golf. I am only on page 49 and very little wisdom is seeping into my game. In fact, I seem to be getting worse, not better. I have decided that golf is an excellent indicator of exactly how far I really am on my spiritual path. There is not another area in my life that I am so hard on myself, so filled with expectations, and become so easily out of balance. In fact, "Molly" my two year old personality often appears on the course; even my husband does not find Molly amusing!

If I read Zen Golf Parent states "you'll learn ways to make your mind an ally instead of an enemy, how to stay calm, avoid mental mistakes, reduce frustration, increase consistency, and lower your scores."

At this point, I'll take any one of those outcomes!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

January 19, 2011

Interconnectedness and Interdependency~

One of the purposes of the Intent Heals Journal is to promote awareness of global interdependency and our connectedness to one another.

While we can perceive the potential hazards of our advanced technology, that I wrote about yesterday, we must also hold the creative possibilities open to all of us to impact global change. Never before have we been so intimate with the consequences of rampant consumerism and the blatant disregard of our environment. Instantly, we can connect with pictures and stories of devastation around the world - we can read and grapple with the major global challenges that confront us - like the 900 million people living in extreme poverty and the challenge of preserving our natural resources and creating a sustainable world.

Perhaps the enormity of the issues we face as a global society feel overwheming and we think that we cannot respond in a postive way. But, each of us can make a difference. Daily we read and hear about individuals taking personal responsibility to impact change in small and large ways.

A good friend of mine, Wilford Welch, has written a remarkable, and inspiring, book entitled Tactics of Hope illustrating how individuals are making a difference. Treat yourself and visit TacticsofHope.org to learn more and read Wilford's book, Tactics of Hope and become inspired!

January 18, 2011

Our desire for connection~

A few nights ago I watched the movie Social Network depicting the story of Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook. To be honest, I am still thinking about his story and the incredible explosion of Facebook on this planet. What I am marinating in was Mark's ability to recognize our deep desire for connection -- his undeniable brilliance was his ability to create a vehicle by which we can connect -- globally, instantly, and continuously.

Mark tapped into the heart of our longing to be connected in what often feels like a very fragmented, dis-jointed, and isolating world. Facebook provides a forum for us to express ourselves, to instantly share, and to instantly step into other's lives and stories.

But, is this enough? Does this really satisfy our desire for connection? Like other well-known and well-loved substitutes - food, alcohol, drugs, sex, TV, clothing and "things" - the potential hazard of Facebook is that it becomes another way for us to dis-connect.

Our deepest desire is for connection with "our inner self" -- that wellspring of consciousness and access to God that offers profound joy and peace. Without that, we can become easily lost and feel adrift, looking for connection through things that really do not deeply satisfy.

Are we taking time each day to make that deeper connection within ourselves?

Monday, January 17, 2011

January 17, 2011


I woke up this morning from a dream that continues to linger and has evoked strong emotions. I am a prolific dreamer. Each morning my husband loves to ask me about my "crazy" dreams and to hear the fragments I can recall.

But, there are times when the dreams leave an emotional imprint that is difficult to shake and you are left with the feeling that you must "do" something, even if it is only to relieve your own discomfort.

I dreamt that my friend, who passed away of breast cancer almost 9 years ago, came to me and she was in terrible pain. Still. This was upsetting and she was asking me to release her pain. I was not able to do so in the dream and now, awake, I am wishing I was Jennifer Love Hewitt in the Ghost Whisperer!

Am I being called to heal my friend? Is there something that she still needs before she can complete her journey?

Sunday, January 16, 2011

January 16, 2011

Creating sacred space~

In meditation this morning the strong directive to discuss "sacred space" immediately arose.

Finding a place in your home that is sacred is important for cultivating a sense of peace, seeking refugee, and allowing yourself to go within either in prayer or meditation. Sacred space creates an environment where we can lower our defenses, breathe deeply, and open to our vulnerability. Often healing takes place as we open to spirit and our own deep inner guidance.

Close your eyes and think of your home environment. Is there a place that you are naturally drawn to? That you find yourself frequently? Perhaps you are drawn to a certain chair by a window, or a corner that is cozy, warm and inviting. Once you have located this spot, you can begin to create your sacred space. Many people create a small alter, or place objects on a shelf or bookcase -- crystals, pictures of loved ones, feathers or stones, incense, and candles are all possibilities.

For me, when I enter and sit in my sacred space, the distractions of the daily world dissolve as I am enveloped in light, loving energy that brings me deeply in touch with myself and Spirit.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

January 15, 2011


Birthdays are a time of celebration; an honoring of our life and our unique individual journey. A friend of mine has a birthday today and she celebrates her birthday all month long. Another friend, celebrated her birthday yesterday, quietly with her soulmate.

Each day is a birth-day; the birthing of a new day. Each morning an opportunity to awake with fresh eyes and an open heart. And each evening a time to lay quietly and reflect on the day with gratitude.

I celebrated many wonderous things today: my friends' birthdays, budding friendships, finding the perfect crystals, the sun and the clear blue sky, my Cardinals, my amazing daughter and her best friend, and my incredible husband.

What are you celebrating today?

Friday, January 14, 2011

January 14, 2011


In meditation this morning, the question gently arose "Are you living in integrity"?

I let myself sink deeply into this question and was immediately drawn to years ago and past incidences where I had not lived up to my moral principles. I had betrayed myself and others. As I acknowledged this, I asked for forgiveness. I realized on a deep level I still carried guilt and remorse and had not completely let go of these feelings. In the stillness that followed, I felt the release and a sense of peace pervading.

In addition to adhering to strict moral standards, integrity also means a state of 'wholeness'-- "an undivided or unbroken completeness or totality with nothing wanting". What are the fear-based attachments I still carry that keep me from fully living in integrity even in this present moment?

My intention for today is to acknowledge and release any attachments that are fear based, negative, and no longer serving my highest good.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

January 13, 2011


The Golden Rule - we have all heard of it and many of us try to practice it daily.

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Sound advice and then I heard the opposite of this rule...."Do not let others do to you what you would not do to them".

Now, this gives one pause and an opportunity for reflection. Do we allow others to treat us differently than we treat them? How many times do we downplay an action, or interaction with a loved one? Was there an "ouch" or that familiar ache in the pit of the stomach? Do we tend to walk away, stuff it, or explain it away to avoid the 'potential (inevitable) conflict? Or worse, color it in different shades to cover the real truth? How many times have we let our boundaries be challenged in a business transaction, or in a situation with people we did not know very well? Only later, perhaps, did we then vent to a trusted spouse, family member or friend.

For me, it has been far easier to practice the golden rule and much harder to set my own personal boundaries. It has taken me many years to learn how to speak my truth, clarify and honor my boundaries. I disliked conflict, so this was my motivation to keep the peace even if it meant hurting myself. It's been an empowering and healing experience to find my voice and a healthy balance.

I revisit the golden rule and its opposite and invite you to do the same. Is there a person or situation in your life that needs attention?

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

January 12, 2011


As I sat in meditation, the first thought was that it had been 12 days since the first blog entry of January 1st - "Be still" - "I am that I am." The message of recognizing the divinity within each of us. I then thought of my teacher, Dr. Meredith Young-Sowers, and her gift to thousands of students who have attended her Stillpoint School of Advanced Energy Healing. Meredith certainly emanates her divinity and shows others how to connect to their own light. She created the Angelic Messenger Cards and I was being instructed to pull a card and receive a divinely inspired message.

I pulled Abundance~

"You have drawn this card of Abundance as a means of shifting your inner and outer living into recognizable accomplishment, success, well-being, satisfaction, health and mutual exchange with the human and natural systems that have partnered your advancement.
You have a vision for your life that has grown from your heart and from your spirit, a vision that tells you that you are a child of the Universe and are meant to grow in love, wisdom, and a cooperative attitude. You are meant to use your creativity, imagination, and abilities to the fullest extent in order to create a magnificant Earth home for you, those you love, and all human beings and creatures in your planetary family.

You live in and with abundance when you accept the power of love to heal, transform, and create."

I welcomed this message of abundance, with tears in my eyes and the flow of grace running through my body, as I sat in gratitude for all of the many blessings in my life. I hope this message speaks to many of you.

Please visit stillpoint.org to learn more about Meredith's School and Foundation and the many wonderful healing modalities she has to offer.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

January 11, 2011

The significance of 1/11/11?

11:11 has long been toted as the master symbol; a doorway into the higher realms and a higer vibration --a reminder of our acension process. The numbers 11:11 began appearing to me in the early 80's and catch my attention each time they appear digitally.

The flash of 11:11 demands my attention. It gives me pause and an opportunity to evaluate myself on this earth walk. Where am I on this journey? Am I awake or checked out? Am I living an authentic life? These are the questions that come spilling in when 11:11 flashes before my eyes.

Today is an opportunity for us to ask similar questions. My yoga instructor read The Prayer of St. Francis yesterday and I post as a reminder of the choices we are privileged to make each day.

The prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Monday, January 10, 2011

January 10, 2011

Message from the Cardinals~

I was instantly drawn to my beloved Cardinals as I meditated this morning...waiting. Late yesterday afternoon, there were 6 male Cardinals - 3 adults and 3 young ones - standing quietly on the bird feeders and in the trees nearby. For quite some time, they were motionless. Not feeding, or flying around, or singing; just being. I was struck by their quiet, still presence. Their "beingness" was having a strong impact on me and I keenly felt they were sending a message -- "you're presence is enough".

Now, just imagine for one minute, if we all felt that our simple existence, just our mere presence, was enough? How we struggle to be something better, different, more than, less than....are we not enough? And for those we love and who love us, is not our undivided attention, our full presence, what is most valued?

What if we were to spend a few moments each day still and present? Fully awake, aware, heart open and receptive, deeply knowing that our "being" in the world is enough?

Sunday, January 9, 2011

January 9, 2011

The power of prayer~

By now, most of you are aware and stunned by the tragedy in Tuscon that took place yesterday early afternoon. Please take a moment to write in your Intent Heals Journal the names of those who have died, those who are struggling to live, and their families, friends and co-workers. If you are moved, please write your intentions for peace on our own soil amongst ourselves as we struggle to find balance and harmony in political disagreement.

I pray that we continue to cultivate peace within ourselves~

Saturday, January 8, 2011

January 8, 2011

Spider Web~

The message this morning was of connectivity; our connectedness to the divine source, to the people in our lives, and to the infinite possibilities that await our creativity and intention.

I heard "where ever you are in your web, the life you are weaving, is exactly where you need to be". Trust that the people in your life, your present circumstances, and the resources available to you are exactly what you need to create your life in this moment.

I looked the spider up in my Medicine Cards and only then realized the sychronicity of today's date and the shape of the spider's body - 8! The shape of the spider is the "symbol for the infinite possibilities of creation" (Medicine Cards, Jamie Sams and David Carson, 209).

Let's trust where we find ourselves on this day of 8 and look across this infinite web of possibilities with appreciation and gratitude.

Friday, January 7, 2011

January 7, 2011

Resistance and fear~

How often do our fears and resistance keep us from becoming who we really are and fully living our purpose?

Last night I had a series of dreams that were about loss of control; being in a car careening down a snowy mountain in reverse, a baracuda biting my thumbs, and walking through an alleyway being stalked and stared at by menacing men. In each scene, I witnessed my dream self 'letting go' and facing the fear. After moving through the fear of being out of control in the car, I waited for the right bend in the road, and a snow bank that could take the impact of the car and then crashed it. I was fine. With the baracuda, I let him bite my thumbs and he let go (I still had my thumbs). And, in the alley, I stared right back at the men with no fear of harm, and kept moving.

When we move into our fears they lose their hold on us and dissolve. For me, at this time, my fear is "loss of control". It is perceived, of course, as we truly have no control. It is an illusion. Nevertheless, the ego is a heavyweight champion when it comes to fighting for the preservation of illusion.

What are your fears? Where are you resisting? Pick one today and move fully into it and see what happens.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

January 2, 2011

The first day of the new year I am reminded of my divinity and the second day of 2011 I am smacked right between the eyes! I'm not so divine~

As I meditated this morning, with my journal over my heart, I was mirrored back my own judgement and lack of compassion. It was unsettling to say the least and an eye opener. I had openly judged a young, poor, single mother who, quite frankly, I am angry with. Her daughter happens to be my grand-daughter, who I adore and do not see as often as I wish. Her father is my son who has struggled mightily, and this young woman has not made his life easy by any means. So, quite unconsciously, I had casted her in the "villian" role.

"Does she not need the same love and compassion that you give to your son and grand-daughter?"

The smack between my eyes I was referring to! My God, yes...this young woman needs understanding, love, and acceptance. She is doing the best she can. We all are..in this very moment. We have a choice to do better too, in each moment. But, how on earth will this young woman make that choice if no one will take an interest?

I forgave myself in that moment of clarity. And then I silently apolgized to this young mother.

January 1, 2010

"Be still".

That is all I heard as I "listened". The silence was comforting as I pondered the meaning of these two words.'Being' rather than 'doing' was a concept I was familiar with and have been working on. Was God reminding me of this?

It was not until a phone call later in the morning with my friend did I learn that there was more that followed "Be still". In the Bible,Psalm 46:10, "Be still, and know that I am God". "I Am that I Am", said God to Moses when he asked his name (Exodus, chpt. 3) also one of most famouse verses in the Torah. And Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, made famous "I Am That".

I continue to ponder.

Are we to hold the possibility that perhaps 'I Am that I Am' or 'I Am That' could hold another layer of meaning? A reminder, on this first day of 2011, that we are to reflect on our own divinity?

2011 Intentions

Dear friends,

What are your 2011 resolutions? As the past year came to a close, I found myself reviewing the highlights and the challenges of 2010. It was a year of unparalleled transitions and new beginnings for me and for my family. I asked Spirit for guidance and a clear direction for 2011. As the old adage goes, "Be careful what you ask for!"

The guidance came in the form of a question similar to the directive given to me in 2004 that catalyzed the auspicious birth of the Intent Heals Journal. This question is just as challenging as that directive was, and I’ve chewed on it for two weeks now.

What if you were to "listen" to God -- your higher self, Spirit, (the unnameable one) -- every morning, and then write and post what you heard?

It reminded me of the movie “Julie & Julia,” in which Julie Powell commits to cook every recipe in Mastering the Art of French Cooking. Could I make a commitment of this nature? The thought unnerved me. Trepidation has flowed through my veins daily as I’ve pondered this gentle challenge from Spirit. What if I can’t articulate what is coming through? What if I fail to show up? What if God does not speak to me?

I have keenly felt my vulnerability and insecurity as I reflect on this daunting task.

And yet, isn't this what God asks of us? To move fully into our fears? Shine light on what is dark and scary? Penetrate the crevices and unseen barriers within ourselves that keep us from being in the moment, open-hearted, and loving?

And so, with trepidation in my heart and a pinch of fearlessness, I will listen and write what I hear.

Please join me if you are so inspired. And we can journey 2011 together, exploring both the valleys and peaks, challenging ourselves to be a bit braver and more remarkable.