Mind, Body, Spirit Connections

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Visiting Mother~

I flew up to CT on Thursday, May 17th to surprise my sister for her 50th birthday. It was indeed a surprise and quite fun. We had a lovely dinner and the next morning sat out on the porch sipping our coffee and Kibitzing. Most delightful was my 18 year old niece, home after her freshman year at Vassar, talking with us "adults" and holding her own. What a remarkably gifted, self-assured, and loving young woman. I was also able to visit my mother at Seabury. I only get to see her twice a year and this trip I was able to visit three times. Each time was scheduled around dinner or lunch so I could feed her. In the past, I have found these visits a wee bit tortuous. Either my father makes me cry, or the other residents who are trapped in their bodies and minds, or my own sweet mother. I vacillate between the horror of the scene I find myself in and a feeling of complete and utter tenderness as I raise a spoon of soup to my mother's lips. I watch myself dis-connect and become the "witness". In this state, I can hold it all. I allow myself to smell the odors, to take in the ugly and beautiful, to touch my mother's hand, caress her face, and hear her belch without flinching. Oh, how embarrassed she would have been before she lost her mind to Alzheimer's. Now, she laughs. I lean in and listen to her words. Trying ever so hard to understand what she is saying -- to make sense of what sounds unintelligible. Every so often she does link words together and I understand. She turns her hazel brown eyes to me and captures my soul. It is in these precious moments that we connect deeply and we are One. "Ahh, there you are mommy." I feel myself catapult back into my body, no longer the witness, fully in my heart and in my sadness. I allow myself to sink into this sadness -- accepting, allowing, surrendering. It is what it is.

Friday, May 11, 2012

A story of healing, hope and forgiveness~

As we watch the current political events unfold, endure the horror of yet another teen suicide due to bullying, and honestly question and explore our own behaviors past and present, please watch this touching and moving video of healing, hope and forgiveness.

Convicted killer now trains dogs: Convicted murderer Melinda Loveless has a leash in each hand and a new lease on life as a trainer of service dogs for the disabled.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Full moon~

Andy and I were on the beach just after the magnificent full moon rose into the sky basking its yellow light on the shoreline. We were bathed in moonlight, delighting in the sounds of the surf, the feel of sand on our toes, while watching the moon rise further into the night sky.

What is it about the full moon that captivates us?

There's a gentle, silent yearning that stirs with the coming of the full moon. Our body cycles with the moon, our souls seem to quicken and awaken as if to say "pay attention" to the connection, spend a moment or two and feel our one-ness to everything and everyone.

Many years ago, a lifetime it seems, my yearning ignited a feeling of aloneness. I would look at the full moon and just want to go home. It was raw, painful, and lonely.  Why am I here?

The full moon brings me home to myself. It is a reminder of our cycles here on this earth, of our individual journeys fraught with painful lessons, triumphs, love, and abandonments -- and ultimately of our connection to all that is.

So, I will continue to celebrate this magnificent moon tonight. To howl with her, to bask in her light, to delight in the shadows she will cast taunting me to look deeper, and to revel in her beauty.