I'm still amazed at how easily I can slip into the "protective" mode. Tonight, without notice, I found myself in a defensive posture defending my child. From the perspective of everyone present, I was "defending" a belief, a way of being in the world -- a path that I deeply believe in. A path of faith, love, and embracing all that is, regardless of how it might "appear" in this reality. Unfortunately, my vulnerability of exposing raw emotions, coupled with being "unheard", created a Mama Bear!
I know this to be true. We are complex creatures; not perfect, but a blend of dark and light. It is pure foolhardiness to think that we are not capable of acts, that some would term, "evil". If someone were to enter my home and try to harm my children, I would defend. I might even kill, if circumstances warranted.
I would then try to forgive myself. I would also try to forgive the perpetrator (eventually). Forgiveness is not on demand. It is not something in our control. I believe it is grace that finally allows us to forgive. It is the intention to forgive that invites grace to enter.
We are not perfect. We can only open our hearts, be vulnerable, accept what is, and center into the grace that pervades our life. Mama Bear was out tonight, on her hind legs, protecting a wound unhealed in the face of what she perceived was disrespect.
Mama Bear has since settled, licked her wounds, and wrapped herself around her baby bear. It is all good.