February 12, 2011

Tears & Laughter~

Some of us can cry...at the drop of a hat. Tears flow effortlessly. Doesn't take much; a sad comercial, movie scene, a mean look from someone, or a bad memory.

Me? Nope.
Now, I could blame this on my upbringing. Certain emotions were certainly frowned upon; especially those that produced hot tears streaming down the face. I learned to "stuff" pretty early on. I also learned that one was much happier living from the perspective of "the glass half full rather than half empty".

This is how laughter became the emotion of choice for me. I laugh easily, often and quite loudly. I am even known to snort; sounding very much like Sandra Bullock. And, I enjoy making others laugh. Somewhere along the way, however, I think laughing and self-deprecating humor (usually how I make other's laugh) became a way to avoid my sadness and, at the very least, shield my vulnerability.

I wish I could cry more easily. It's difficult for me to access that place of vulnerability, to feel that sadness, and have a good cry. My vanity kicks in here too, as I look just horrible after crying -- like an onion. Last night during a workshop, I witnessed women expressing their feelings: beautiful, cleansing, healing tears.

I was again reminded how healthy it is to cry; to feel the emotion and allow its expression.