May 10, 2011

Zen and Golf~

The game of golf is one of the most humbling sports I have ever participated in.

It’s all about you, and the six inches between your ears!

I thought I had finally found my groove after 6 months of struggling with a new golf swing. The last four rounds played, I scored decently (for me). Then I came out today and lost my game. I couldn’t hit a shot to save my life, or putt!

What happened?

I just don’t understand this game. My elder, more wiser mentors, shake their heads, commiserate, and tell me “this is the game.” My youthful immaturity cries “NO” this can’t be the game. Unfortunately, I am ever so slowly coming to the same conclusion. BTW, golf spelled backwards is “Flog.”

Golf is very much like life. We have our outstanding days where everything falls into place and you are on top of the world – in the flow. And then, the next day, you wake up and wonder “Where did the joy go? Wasn’t I just riding the biggest, coolest wave?” Golf is similar. Every once in awhile, you fall into the “zone” and shoot a 36, like one of our gals did today. Too often, however, it is exactly the opposite. You fall into the abyss, and struggle to maintain some semblance of dignity on the course.

I admit, I am licking my wounds. But, there’s always tomorrow and the challenge of getting out of my head and into the zone~

May 9, 2011

Weeds~

I love using the “garden” and “gardening” as a metaphor to describe our healing journey. I have done so in past blogs. I am not so keen, however, on “weeds” and “ weeding.” I may have mentioned this before, so please excuse me for repeating my distaste for weeding.

I just finished pulling a gazillion weeds (slight exaggeration) in the hot, late, afternoon sun. There is no easy way to weed. I tend to bend over from the waist, feeling the pull on my back, and the stiffening of my lower back muscles, definitely signaling a very bad back day tomorrow! I try sitting, but my arms do not reach very far and then you find yourself trying some obscene, undignified crab crawl to the next patch of weeds. Forget hands and knees, as my patch is all pine straw, apparently used to keep the weeds at bay (yah, right), and way too harsh on my poor tender knees and hands.

As I pulled, I found myself having one of my many internal dialogues that often lead to a new awareness, or another way of thinking about something.

You guessed it – I had a tiny epiphany about weeding~

I consciously tried to get into the present moment watching myself pulling these tiny oak tree shoots that seem to multiply faster than love bugs. This practice is referred to as “mindfulness”. As I pulled myself out of my “bellyaching” mode, and transitioned into a more aware, in-the-moment state of mind, I noticed that the pulling of weeds was kind of fun.

Yes, I wrote fun!

I was intrigued with how easily those little shoots came up, and delighted in how quickly I could pull those little buggers. In no time, I had completely weeded my fairly large patch and was quite pleased.

It struck me that our lives are littered with weeds; some little ones and some big ones. Some are easy to pull and others are rooted deeply and take hand trimmers and ruthlessness to extract. Nevertheless, the act of weeding makes room for what we are cultivating to bloom and manifest. The internal horizon is more pleasant without the weeds. It does take effort and persistence. But, once you are weeding diligently, it is effortless and the spaciousness created within is truly something to appreciate.

What are the “weeds” that need pulling for you? Take a moment, breathe deeply, and pull away!

May 8, 2011

Celebrating mothers and the children we have birthed and those we have loved~

Today is a special day for any woman who has experienced the trials and joys of motherhood. I can only speak from my experience. And, I am acutely aware, that my journey as a mother has been unique.

I have been blessed with two biological children; and many more who call me "mom". My journey as a mother has been special as I have two children who have been so easy to raise; blessings in my life and in so many other lives. This morning my daughter, Zoe, gave me a beautiful card and book entitled My Mom is the Best! She sat on my bed and read me the entire book.

"She taught me to treasure the little things."

"She gave me roots."

"She remembers what makes me happy."

I sat on the bed and cried, fully embracing the moment and how lucky I was to have my daughter Zoe. Thank God I know enough about nineteen year old boys not to have any expectations of Max! No call, no card, no flowers...how is that for wisdom? It will dawn on him eventually, and he will call.

Perfect~

My other children have texted, emailed, and facebooked...how humbling to know that I have played a positive role in their lives. I love all my children; blood or not. Each one of them are a treasure in my life. Each one has made my life richer and more joyful.

Celebrate the day mothers~  We truly are blessed~

May 7, 2011

Computer Issues~

We live in an age where it is difficult to navigate our lives without a computer. How did this happen? Not only am I completely aware of how dependent I am on the computer for my work and social life, I am stewing in frustration that my computer is not working and I am unable to communicate in my preferred mode!

Just the other day, a good friend of mine shared her ongoing computer saga and the angst it has caused her. We laughed and wondered why we just didn't pick up the phone. Two reasons for me. One, folks just don't answer the phone anymore. You are always leaving a message. Two, I don't like talking on the phone for more than 5 minutes. There are exceptions, of course, but honestly, I am not a phone person. I like email! It is short and sweet and on your timeline.

Computer is still not working. Sorry to those I can not access tonight.

Don't call me~

May 6, 2011

Generosity~

It has been a day of unexpected generosity - intellectual gifts, superb dinner and conversation, an unexpected turn of events resulting in new and amazing possibilities. When we give to others, we overflow with abundance.

But first, we must learn to be generous to ourselves~

Jon Kabat-Zinn says:

"Generosity is another quality which, like patience, letting go, non-judging, and trust, provides a solid foundation for mindfulness practice. You might experiment with using the cultivation of generosity as a vehicle for deep self-observation and inquiry as well as an exercise in giving. A good place to start is with yourself. See if you can give yourself gifts that may be true blessings, such as self-acceptance, or some time each day with no purpose. Practice feeling deserving enough to accept these gifts without obligation - to simply receive from yourself, and from the universe."

Quote was found in The Yantra Deck - The Art of Being Present, Karl Schaffner. To learn more, go to http://www.yantradeck.com/

May 5, 2011

Thirty women - Ninety pounds later~

What happens when 30 women get together to cook in one kitchen? One might imagine mayhem, especially if you knew that there were an equal number of bottles of wine!

I experienced my first cooking class last night. Local organic farmers donated the fresh produce, and Lori, who owns the catering business, provided the space, seafood, and other ingredients to concoct 16 dishes!
Yep, I said 16. Holy Moly...and yes, we each sampled every one of those delectable edibles.

I'm still recovering~

Have you ever tried 16 different dishes in a span of 3 hours? It was pure Heaven, until I got on the scale this morning! In between courses, and while we prepared these exquisite recipes, we of course sipped copious quantities of wine. The bustling, laughter, and the intensity of which we took to our tasks was something to behold.

It was so much fun!

There were moments when I just stepped back, and admired the women prepping, cooking, cleaning, and chatting amongst themselves, amazed at how efficiently, effortlessly and joyfully they created their masterpieces. Adding to the festivities was knowing that our money was being donated to the farmers who were going to local elementary schools to start organic gardens and teach the children about healthy eating.

I am only minimally comforted by this generosity as I sip my water...the beginning of my three day fast~

May 4, 2011

Tapping into the Energy ~

"A meditative technique which will help you to feel more vibrant and alive, enjoying whatever life brings.
Just take a deep breath. Feel it hitting in the middle of the chest. Feel as if the whole existence is pouring into
you, into your heart. Do it at least five times – deep breaths; take it in, fill the heart. Just feel in the heart centre that existence is pouring in vitality, life.

Now exhale deeply, again from the heart, and feel you are pouring all that has been given to you back into
existence. Do it many times in the day, but whenever you do it, do five breaths at once. That will help you to shift from the head to the heart. And you will become more and more sensitive, more and more aware of many things of which you have not been aware. You will smell more, taste more, touch more, see more, hear more; everything will become intense. You will start feeling life really throbbing in you, ready to jump,
ready to flow."

Osho
Excerpted from The Zero Experience.

May 3, 2011

Is Peace just an ideal or attainable?

An excerpt from Tony Campolo's blog, written by Jimmy Spencer Jr. - May 2, 2011
"I remember watching the riots and flag burning in parts of the Middle East that took place after the 9/11 events. I remember feeling angry toward those people celebrating the deaths of my countrymen. I remember feeling anger toward the people that perpetrated the attacks on mothers and fathers and working class people across the country. I couldn’t help but to think, “what is wrong with those people that they really think that God is on their side?” I remember thinking; “They actually think that this is how God demonstrates his favor—by killing the people who don’t fit into our moral, political or religious agendas?”

...and here I sit again.

Watching my Facebook Wall filling up with American cheers and jeers.

“God is on our side!!”
“God’s justice has been done!”

It made me cry a bit.
It makes me angry again.

Watching my Facebook friends, pastors and Christians strike their own chorus of revelry and revenge that somehow God’s will has been done and He has acted for us. He has delivered justice for us. He has delivered revenge for us. He has delivered our enemies to us because He is good and just—and God is on our side.

Of course, the logical flaw is that everyone thinks this."

We become so easily stuck in this quagmire of illogical thought. Everyday, in small and insignificant ways, we engage in the "I'm right, you are wrong" thinking and dialogue. When will be able to hold a broader perspective; one that encompasses multiple perspectives, and allows the co-existence of differing beliefs and understandings?

Should I seek to harm you through thought, word or deed because you do not act, think, or believe as I do? Why is it so difficult for us to hold multiple perspectives, and not become seduced into the black and white thinking of 'right and wrong'?

Is peace really attainable?

I firmly believe peace must begin within ourselves. Everyday, every hour, every minute we have the opportunity to question whether we are acting (or re-acting) out of fear or love. This practice of mindfulness brings us to an awareness of self that allows for deep reflection. Am I acting in love? Or, am I acting in fear? If it is fear, then step back, pause, and take a minute to ask yourself, how can I respond differently?

The death of Osama bin Laden may indeed be a blessing on levels still not understood. Perhaps the current polarization, and fruitful dialogue that is transpiring, is a catalyst for us to examine and question ourselves on a deeper level.

Are we practicing peace or revenge; are we creating friends or enemies; are we building bridges or burning them?

May 2, 2011

The death of Osama Bin Laden~

Why are we celebrating? The wars continue --the bloodshed, the mayhem, and loss of innocent life. We have killed one man. Is the death of Osama bin Laden going to bring back all the lives lost in the last ten years? Is his death going to end the ceaseless cycles of violence we witness daily? Is his death going to end terrorism?

No~

I am bothered by the scenes of celebration in the streets – people are cheering and drinking champagne. I’m sorry, but I feel somber and reflective. While I absolutely do not condone terrorism, and I understand that “justice” needed to be served, I think we walk a very gray line when we begin justifying and celebrating an “eye for an eye” mentality.

Emails are coming into CNN now about what we do next. And, what do you think is being said? “Kill the Mexican Cartels ….” Do you see the issue? When does it end? How does violence end violence?

After 9/11, we retaliated with a vengeance and declared a “war on terror” and bombed Iraq. How many American soldiers have been killed? How many Iraqis and innocent civilians? Is Osama’s death going to heal the wounds inflicted by this violence? I don’t think so.

I wish everyone on TV would just be quiet. Why can we not go into a time of silence, a time of remembrance, and prayer. Our prayer should be for the end of violence, within ourselves and in others.

As long as we relish in the death of another –any “other” – we will not be free~

May 1, 2011

In the arms of angels~

http://youtu.be/2LuGzwNy2ws

May you find comfort there my sweet sister.

These are hard times for so many. My sister, in particular, is in the midst of dramatic change and loss. And, she is running on "empty"; mustering every ounce of energy she has each day to stay strong, in her integrity, and keep the ship sailing.

Loss does not seem to happen 'solo'. I've noticed in my life, that crisis seems to come in at least three's. It's not just the job, but the relationship too, and an illness on top of that as if you don't have enough to handle. In one particularily fond year I can recall, we experienced the loss of our business, a crime against our child, a move out of state, and subsequent loss of the employment which had precipitated the move in the first place!

How do we keep going in the face of adversity? As I listen to Sarah's song, Angel, I am reminded that we are never alone. We can find comfort in the angels, both present in our lives and the angelic beings that always surround us.

And, we must ask and be willing to receive the love and comfort that is available to us. In the past, my tendency has been to draw inward, buckle down, and weather the storm. It is so much easier to open, be vulnerable, and surrender into the love that surrounds us.

May you find comfort in the arms of the angels~