Saturday, June 2, 2012
Another milestone is upon me without my permission. Who is in control anyway? When did I say my baby bear could grow up, graduate high school, and go off to college? I'm not ready! Why isn't the Universe listening to me on this one? Yesterday, I was holding her chubby, slippery little body in my arms in the shower singing to her "You are my sunshine." The passing of time becomes eclipsed when it comes to our children. One day they are running around in diapers, the next they are driving a car, and the following day putting on cap and gown to graduate. I'm still in the same body not aging. How does this all work? It doesn't make sense to me, 'this time flying by' nonsense. It is in these stark moments of clarity that I realize more than any other time that I am not in control. I can't slow time down. I can't reverse it. I can't re-capture those moments with my children when they were small, adorable, so carefree and innocent. I can't slow time down for them. I can't protect them any longer. They are grown. Going off to forge their own way, make their own lives, decisions -- good and bad -- without mama bear whispering "Be careful", "Are you sure about that?", "Be home by eleven." I'm not ready!
Posted by Intent Heals at 6:50 AM